


The Show Must Go On

by danbeau



Category: Captain Marvel (2019), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), WandaVision (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, F/F, Hurt No Comfort, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:46:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29227929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danbeau/pseuds/danbeau
Summary: Monica woke up from the blip to find that everything she knew and loved had moved on without her. Three years had passed and the war that Thanos had created has ended, taking away her mother with it. The struggle she faces is where to go from there. Monica has a hard time finding comfort at the sword facility, a place where she'd once come as a leader second to her mother,  Maria. The one certainty she’s supposed to have in her life now is her mother, Carol, but she’s not here either. Maybe Monica could move on and forget the heartbreak, but that barrier had to be built from the ground up.
Relationships: Carol Danvers & Maria Rambeau & Monica Rambeau, Carol Danvers/Maria Rambeau
Comments: 4
Kudos: 44





	The Show Must Go On

**Author's Note:**

> I have too many emotions so here is this. First time writing a fic so please don't judge. Enjoy!

There were few moments in Monica’s life where she felt vulnerable and scared. Those moments were so rare.. much so that she couldn’t even count them on one hand. After all, she had two strong women in her life who raised her to be as such. Navigating and going up the ranks as a sword agent came easy, she was naturally a leader in her own regards. Authority figures and steel-cold voices didn’t intimidate her. And not just because her mother, Maria Rambeau, was director and founder of sword but because her mom didn’t give her any leeway she treated her as she would any other agent. That made Monica stronger, independent, and the forewoman she was shaping up to be. That mentality was ingrained in her for as long as she could form thoughts and that was her fuel for a long period of time. 

However, nothing could’ve prepared her for the aftermath of the snap. 

Monica had just been given an assignment to help the FBI figure out some missing person situation upon arriving at the sword facility. And if she was being honest, the last thing she wanted to do was come back here. Every corner, every dip, every turn of a room reminded her of her mother. Maria, after all, built sword from the ground up. Yet, Monica knew that she wouldn’t get through the hardship of losing her mother if she didn’t keep herself busy. She continued to zoom through hallways careful to avoid anyone who may approach her. Monica knew people only wished to offer their condolences, but she just could not be bothered to remember the heartbreak. It’s only been a few days since she got the life-changing news that shattered her world to pieces, but she knew she had to persevere and put up a barrier over her sorrow even if it was all a front. It was hard but eventually, she managed to chain that sorrow down into the very corner of her mind where it couldn't hurt.

She pushed through the door to her office. Immediately closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath as she mentally applauded herself for making it inside without running into anyone. Her little mental congratulatory celebration very soon came to a halt as she opened her eyes. The room was just as she left it. Big open windows cast a view to the never-ending greenery that surrounds the sword facility. Dark-steel-like flooring that felt cold even through the deep layers of the faux leather of her boots. Walls were filled with her achievements, family pictures and fond memories adorned on the deep navy blue walls, and there in the center of the room were two desks adjacent to each other. One hers, and the other belonging to her mother, Carol Danvers. After all, they shared this office. Though Carol wasn’t here much to occupy that space when she did pay her visits she was sat on that reclining office chair, feet up on the desk laughing away with that deep yet light husky laugh of hers just like it was home. Monica froze, memories she tried so hard to ignore the past few hours came flooding back and the mental Dam she constructed in her head just wasn’t a tough enough structure to retain those memories from flowing in. 

Monica resented Carol as the past few years prior to Maria’s cancer diagnosis three years ago were not good years for her relationship with her mother Carol. Carol would argue things were rocky but for Monica, their relationship was hanging on a thread- a very loose one at that. But now, Monica hated Carol. Carol wasn’t there when she promised to be there, so many big achievements for both her daughter and partner missed, countless doctors appointments missed. Excuse after excuse as Monica put it. Maria always said it was more than okay that Carol had bigger things, universal matters to deal with. However, Monica couldn’t imagine anything coming before family.

Monica walked swiftly past Carol’s side of the office and went across to her own. She slid down on her chair, elbows meeting knees, palms covering her eyes. She exhaled a shaky breath she didn’t realize she was holding and let the tears she had been holding back flow down her cheeks, staining the palms of her hands as they slowly trickled down. She steadily put her head up and closed her eyes taking another deep breath. She wondered what Carol was doing right now. Did Carol even know she was a victim of the blip? Did she know she came back? Does she know Maria is gone? Does she care? Monica thought to herself. Those questions laid heavy on her mind but there was simply no time to gather that intel from anyone at the moment. She had a job to do. Monica proceeded to gather her equipment and gear. Scavenging through cabinets and boxes trying to remember where she kept things that would be useful to her on this mission. It wasn’t celestial so what much could she possibly need. 

While looking through the cabinets of her desk, she came across something she didn’t need to see... especially right now. A photograph of her and her moms. Christmas of 1990. Despite the years that have passed the photograph stood strong color definitely faded through the years but firm with the exception of a fold down the middle left. Right, where carol was meant to be. Monica had folded the picture down to remove Carol’s presence from the photograph. She hesitantly brought it back up exposing the true photo in its entirety. Once again, memories playing back like a supercut video of her childhood only to be stopped by the knock of the door. Though initially scared upon hearing the sudden noise coming from the door, Monica was grateful someone interrupted her thoughts. She got up and tossed the photo back on the floor. She hastily walked up to the door and was greeted by Hayward; the sit-in director who was now taking her mother Maria’s place as director of sword. “Your vehicle is ready for you Captain Rambeau. Found everything you need?” Hayward asked with a sly smile. 

Monica forced a smile back. “Uh yeah, um, I just need a few more minutes to gather my things and I’ll head out to uh-” 

“Westview,” Hayward said eerily

“Right!” Monica responded 

And Monica did just that. 

As she drove on the road to Westview, she wondered why her mother decided to ground her from celestial missions when it was Monica’s forte. She thrived up in space she often wished she was in her mother Carol’s position. Going on missions taking care of matters in the deep parts of space. But she was quick to shut those thoughts down as an attempt to not see herself in the woman she now resented. As much anger as Monica felt towards Carol, she knew deep down she couldn’t hate her but she also couldn’t understand her actions, the reasonings for the lack of communication with her and Maria all this time, and the utter abandonment of her own family all together. She only hoped that Carol still thought of them and that she was okay. She didn’t wanna think about the next time she’d reunite with the only mother she had left. It was too much digging in the wound that has already been left unattended and cared for since the aftermath of the snap. Monica drove up the road that leads up to Westview ready to take on a new mission even if it wasn’t the big adventures she’d venture on in space. Or so she thought. Soon Monica would realize that this mission was bigger than that of a missing person's rescue.


End file.
